Lost need advice!

[sgctxok]

Hi Zuma,

Welcome to divorcebusting.com! I'm so sorry that you are in this situation....but I'm glad you found us. All is not lost.

I'm glad you've read Divorce Remedy. I assume you've read 'The Last Resort Technique'. That is where you are.

I have been going to counseling for about 6 weeks and she still has not mentioned or talked to me about our marriage.

I am scared to bring up talking about us at all for fear of pushing her.

Something you don't want to do is have relationship talks with her. They are not likely to go well, and the more often you have those negative conversations, the more the negative stuff gets into their mind. What you want to do is create more positive times.

Btw--are you in counseling together.....and is your counselor pro-marriage?

I also fear by not confronting this it may be easier for her to move on.

Ignore that fear. Confronting her will make it worse.

I have stopped persuing her and calling her

For how long?

I am desparate to save my marriage and keep my family together but even after reading Divorce Remedy...I am afraid that she has already made up her mind but she does not talk to me about us only kids and schedules. She has not mentioned Divorce but in the beginning she only would say if you push me for an answer right now you would not like my answer. It hurts me when I am around her and she appears to act like everything is happy and ok....

She can probably detect that desperate feeling. So you want to try to improve things but don't push her, don't ask her.....don't go overboard. The MORE you do, the more it will likely backfire.




Now, TO DOs:

What were the things she is unhappy about with your marriage?

What do you both do DIFFERENTLY now than when you were 'in love'?



Make a list of the things that are going RIGHT.

Make a list of your strengths.



What is your wildest guess of what you could do to make her happy? (don't necessarily do it yet)



Take heart. All is NOT lost.