Thanks Karen for that advice, It is hard to make new friends but I went out with my cousin and two of his friends. We went for dinner and then went to a club for drinks...I had no idea there was a world out there that did not revolve around my h. but i must be honest, it is daunting how single woman are like vixens. Always felt safe with my h. Weird thing --- the guys were commenting on some woman that walked past and then remembered I was with them and they suddenly went quiet...strange thing is I used to commment on woman to my husband and we would discuss whether someone was hot or not!!!!


On a more serious note I need some Dbing advice. Husband has been so far removed and has never broken down infront of me. Today something strange happened. Some background info first: h asked if he could have our computer so he could put music onto his ipod. I said I was busy with it doing stuff for work which is true and said he could not take it. A few days later he asked again and i said no still busy.

Today he arrived and was playing 20 questions with me. Very interested in an event I am going to, asking who I was going with etc. the phone rang, he wanted to know who I was speaking to and when i said i was going out for dinner he wanted to know who with. Then he was playing with d and I said he could put music on ipod. He did. When it was time to leave he asked if he could take some cd's and I said sure just bring them back (We have a huge collection of cd's and dvd's which he claims are his). I played it cool and while he went off at me I listened, validated his feelings and reminded him that I am also human and have feelings. I did not cry = a first!

I said that I was using computer for work and it was not a personal attack. I also made it clear that the cd's were important to me. They were a huge part of our life together. I told him that it scared me that he was sad over leaving them behind but not me. I also told him that I wondered why I was longing for him and why I loved him if this is who he is. He said he has always been like this and i told him that he has changed and that he was never like this but he is now. I also told him he was never so uncaring...This is where it got interesting, I kept my calm thanks to dbing. I told him he will go home and justify every decision made because I am a B*tch and would not give the computer and I said that I will spend the night wondering why he is fighting so much for material possessions but not fighting for me and missing me.

I then told him I really had to get going and that I do not want to hate him and never could be horrible to him . I said i am trying to cut him out of my life like he has cut me out and he was making it very hard.

I started walking to my car door and he called me, he said sorry and said he did not mean to have an outburst. Sai it was a crappy ending to a crappy day (I think he was looking for a fight
). He then gave me a hug (first time in 6 months)! Wow there is a human inside him.

Now here is where I need advice: Do I cave and give him the computer to use?????? Do I give him all the cd's and dvd's????