St, I am not so sure I know what to change about my interactions with him.
-I try to only return calls that are neccessary. I am often thankful for little things he does and tell him so. He always says : "cool" and stops calling for a while
-I am very nice to him usually, showing I still love him and sometimes I even tell him that. And he stops calling for a while.
-I dont talk about our R. And neither does he mention much any more about it or about D.
-I ignore drunk texts or nonsense blaming type of texts usually too. I have realized that he gets more mean when I do, so now I try not to respond.
Should I be more loving and tell him I love him, or should I be distant and only love him from afar (like I have been). I feel like when I say ILY to him that he likes to hear it but stays distant. He also will be more friendly to me when I am Loving. When I stand up for myself or for boundaries of mine (such as telling him upon his last return he needs to not drink & go to the bars so much for us to be able to Reconcile)= he becomes irrational and blames me for not loving him.
I am so confused. I understand that a MLC will take a lot of time and sometimes the changes I make are gonna not make any difference to him until maybe later. I just hope I am not doing the wrong things.
Either way I know that I have changed the way I interact with him a lot since every time in our past that he hurt me I would just cry and defend myself. Now I feel like I am stronger and can try to show him love and happiness when he interacts with me nicely or just ignore it when he acts rude and state my stand. I hope you can clarify this more for me. Especially if I should be doing something different. TIPPER
