Well the bottom line is while we suspect that Tx is playing games...Pam chooses to give it time...she knows the concerns we all have...she knows the risk she is taking...she is the one that will suffer if things go wrong...that being said...it is her decision and I think we have all expressed our concerns enough that she has no doubt how most feel here...but ultimately she has to come to terms with continuing in this relationship or not... My only suggestion at this point would be for Pam to get counseling for herself...let a professional in...I think her fear of upsetting others is more a curse at this point...I understand where she is at because at one time I had many "friends" at an online game site...and I really used to feel hurt if I upset someone...my H told me that it was silly but I still felt that way...I had to remove myself from the situation because I finally saw how unhealthy it was for me to be that emotionally connected to people I really and truly didn't know...spending hours with them daily...I had to learn that the people who mean the most are those that are "real"...and then even some of them aren't worth the upset that is caused at times...I had to learn that "I was not responsible for everyone else's feelings"...that was a huge burden for me to carry...I am still a very caring person...to extent I even still care about people I don't really know...but I am more careful with my personal boundries how close I let people in...I screen carefully!
