well the wife stopped by today..

[ms ladybug]

I completely agree. She wants you to tell her it's OK to see other people. That way she can do it (likely she is already) with your blessing. That's a cop-out crock of sh**! She needs to face her own demons, and you are wise to not validate that decision.

Aside from that, I think you really scared her when you said you were on the fence. She doesn't want out of this marriage. If she did, that comment wouldn't bother her at all. I think it was best said ONE TIME. NOW, leave her alone until say Tuesday...you can call and ask about the movie. OR better yet, tell her you have other plans for Wednesday, how about Thursday! Make her wonder. Let her see your GAL.
I don't think she's wishy-washy, I think she's non-commital. But, I don't know why unless there's a potential OM that she wants to try out.