sorry if I got you worried about my S. He is fine. We talked and hugged and kissed and tickled and he is fine. That's the problem, you believe kids are doing better and then suddenly they show you again how much they hurt and you get back to zero point worrying sick about them...
My H isn't. After letting him get away with "Hmmm", "I see", "I know", "Really" etc. yetsreday, he got on my nerves again today.
He called and said something about something I can't remember what and then asked me where am I taking the kids for Easter (28th -I think- April Greek Orthodox). I replied that I want to take them on a short trip beacuse we obviously missed our winter ski trip this year and I want to make it up to them. He said "fine" and "bye".
Have you seen the cartoons blowing steam out of their ears? Well, that was me, in the middle of a super hectic work day...
So, I called right back, super calm and asked him, her eis the diallogue, it's easier for me
M- Did you mean anything with the question about Easter? H- What do you mean? M-Well did you mean anything, like "I want to be with the kids, I will miss the kids", do we include you in our plans, anything else or was it a question with no meaning? H- No, I was just asking M- Are you doing anything? H-I'll be working M- Well, I called you to tell you that we need to communicate H-What do you mean? M-We have two kids, I have tried to protect you from the consequences of your choices and keep the pressure off you H-I know that, I feel it M-...and I will keep doing that as far as I am concerned H-Ok M-BUT, our kids are a different story. I have kept from you many details about how they feel because the last thing I wanted was to make you beleive I am using them to pressure you H-I don't think that M-Well then you must know that our S and D are having big problems. And it seems to get worse as they see that we are getting along better. We create expectations and they can't take the waiting... H- UGHHHHHHHHHH M- I can't handle this on my own. We are obviously making a mistake here and while I believe we both mean well we are causing them unnecessary pain H- UGHHHHH M-Can you please talk to me? H-You are right, Ive noticed our son isn't well too. What should we do? M- Well first of all, talk to each other about what is going on. So far I made a mistake keeping you out of this but I will correct that H-Please do so, I want you to. M-I will, I thought about it. We'll be their parents for ever and we need to communicate well H- I agree, from now on talk to me M-The reason I haven't done so is that I feel you are doing some hard thinking and I wanted you to be "free" to decide what you want H-UGHHHHHHH M-Are you? H- Yes I am... M- I thought the fact that you didn't continue with the legal sep papers was a gesture from you H- I thought it was form both of us M-You stopped it, I never wanted it H-Yes but we both decided to stop all that M-Right, and I haven't asked you why because I respect you and I have the patience H-Thanks, I don't want to discuss my thoughts with anyone yet M-Just know that MAYBE while you ara looking for answers I may be able to help you with some H-Hmmm M-But you need to talk to me, I am not translating you any longer, I've decided I 've done this in the past and was wrong, so just know that if you need help, you need to ask me and I will be there H-OK, thanks M- I was always there for you but failed to show you that H-I know now, thanks
