Financials set to be sorted.

[ACJ]

Its Hs birthday today. I haven't dwelled on it too much as I have been in a training course all day. I sent the card I made for him. There has been no acknowledgement but then I didn't expect any.

As far as I know the kids have not wished him happy birthday. I told the younger two that I would give them some money to buy H a present (D17 has a job so is able to buy her own) they just needed to let me know what they wanted to get and how much it was. I pushed this until Sunday and then i have left it alone. They didn't ask for any money and they don't have any of thier own b/c they always spend their pocket money virtually in one go. I'm a bit torn b/c I feel bad for not pushing it further but the decision to wish him well on his birthday had to come from them not me. D12 in particular gets uptight when I talk about H so I try not to anymore.

H has still not replied to the email I sent a week ago about S15s premium bond win. There are two things I can infer from this. Firstly that b/c he wants no communication whatsoever with me he is choosing to ignore my email or secondly that he has taken annual leave from work and hasn't seen the email. S15 spent some of last weekend with him and when I asked him if H had gone away he said he didn't know. Last year they went to Holy Island for Hs birthday. They couldn't afford it then and they certainly can't now from what I hear but I wouldn't put it past them.

Nothing else to report except I had a reflexology session last night and it felt good to treat myself. I had been in the habit of treating myself once a month and for some reason I stopped. I must get back into that. One of the interesting things that came out of the reflexology was that she said the area of my foot that corresponded to the solar plexus in my brain was very swollen and tender. Before she told me this she asked me how my mood had been lately. I told her very low and then she told me about the swollen bit on my foot. I'm piling on weight on the moment and my self esteem has taken a plummet again as a result so I need to do something about this. I can't let myself slip back into the old rise and fall of moods that I exhibited whilst living with H. It was too horrible to want to revisit.