Yes, I can move on and find moments of happiness, but it will never be the same. They will be fleeting, and tainted with what is missing, the void within me. He will always be the father of my children, the one I pledged to love for as long as I shall live. I will live the rest of my days under the shadow of that. I don't think I can face that. Any happy moments just bring up the pain that is always there, the stark contrast. The kids compound my failure--I needed to fix this for me, but also for them.
God, I can FEEL those words of yours and they brought me right back to tears.
I posted in the prayer forum the other day in a desperation of my own. Please go see what people posted me, the scriptures. Please go read. They are for you, too. I know that because I NEVER come to this forum and today I did, and I saw your post.
