I'm almost 2 years into the beginning of my he**. At first H said he would go to MC, wanted to go---maybe twice a week. Then when we actually got started it was once a week then once every two weeks, then he couldn't go with me anymore because all I did was complain. MC met with us individually. Said she didn't understand H's reaction, that she thought sessions were going well.
A year passes we try to meet together again, still no progress, he's unwilling to make effort. 14 months pass, no progress. No R talk. H unwilling to do anything to make effort. I give him space. I leave him alone, then I get E-MAIL saying he "doesn't have what it takes to work on us." If I agree we need to go back to MC to discuss the end. I respond with e-mail saying I do not agree.
One month passes, I am working extra hard on PMA (and DBing), and doing a good job displaying it. Then another E-MAIL saying the same thing, that he doesn't have what it takes, that it's not something I can fix, it's just the way he feels. We need to go to MC.
I tell him he needs to go. He has issues to work on first. He goes and tells MC he wants D. Still unwilling to talk. Still unwilling to put forth effort.
This whole time he's still at home. Still acts "as if" all is well to the world. I know the kids know things aren't right, but I know they have no idea. H says if I agree to D and do this right they will not be hurt for long. Wants me to just go to mediation, sign papers and act as if it's a legal process only. Says it will be hard on the kids if I make this difficult---my fault if they have a problem with it.
I told MC I refuse to talk D.
How long do I stand. I know it's MLC. I know none of it makes sense, but am I really just supposed to let him end this----his way----to not make waves??
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
