Worried I found DB too late #2

[newnamenewlife]

I wish I could be as big about it all as you are being, CW. It's very admirable. I do of course care about my kids enormously, but I also feel that in order for me to be the best mother I can be under these circumstances, H needs to "own" what he is doing and the impact it is going to have on all of us. I am still very angry and hurt and I think it's going to take me a long time to get past that.

I guess since I have no control over his decision, I am trying to have some control in other ways--ie he takes responsibility for this being his decision and he respects my needs for what the living arrangements will be. I worry that if I "cave" and pretend that this is a mutual decision or allow him to come and go at will, I will feel even more resentful and that will be worse for the kids than having them know that H thought this was for the best.