Thanks for your words. I didn't sleep well...suddenly awoke at 4am and found myself crying. Tried to sleep in and am working from home this morning. Honestly though, I feel pretty bad today. I feel physically like I'm sick with the flu, even though I'm not. I just ache inside and feel so drained and exhausted. I have felt very helpless during this period.
Because my W. copes with their emotions by distracting and running, then it looks like she is doing fine and not feeling anything inside. That leaves me feeling like a fool for having loved someone who doesn't even really miss me or want to be with me. What is wrong with me that I still hurt so much over someone who has no commitment to caring about me anymore??
I'm just running over painful thoughts over and over again this morning. I need to try to stop this, but I'm finding it really hard to focus. My stomach is in a knot thinking about the ending of the relationship, selling the house and buying a new place. I can barely get through eating breakfast without a struggle--how am I going to handle this? She's leaving in a few days to go on a tropical trip for 2 weeks. I just can't shake how bad it feels to know that my W. feels so "trapped" to be with me.
Every day is a slog like walking through wet cement. I try to distract myself with exercise and being outside and t.v., but these last several days I just feel sick. : (
