The mod just put a "sticky" post at the top of the Newcomers forum with a directive that Michele gives her therapists. "If you feel there is no hope... fire yourself."
This is a pretty active site, with a whole lot of different people who find themselves here. We have more in common that we wish, but we are more different than some realize. Hope aside, if what we are doing isn't HELPING someone, regardless of how much we may think they need it, we need to fire ourselves.
I fired myself a few times. Maybe a poster just didn't get me, didn't like me, didn't like my story ... who knows? Maybe I'm just no good at giving advice on message boards. Instead of pushing I try to get them to answer to themselves. Instead of getting frustrated or making someone feel they came to the wrong place, I opt to simply take the road of "Do No Harm" and back off. There are loads of great posters and counseling options to take my place who CAN help those truly seeking help.
I haven't read your posts on SSM. From what I read here, it appears that rather than seeking advice, you feel that what you are doing IS working to get your relationship with your H to a level you are comfortable with.
It's amazing what time and perspective can do while we spin around searching for a way to speed up a journey that we only appreciate after we get there. Heh, maybe it's the paragraph-long run on sentences that cause my message to miss the mark.
Anyhow, just wanted to reach out to you the way I've seen you reach out to so many others.....
