H is having a mid-life crisis

[hope99]

thanks for the support! it helps to know you're not the only person in the world going through this.

i live on long island, work in queens. even though some days it feels impossible to get out of bed, once i get to work i'm usually ok. 99% of the people i work with are older men and they don't deal well with a weepy crying woman. so i know when i'm here i have to keep it together.

no kids but we have 3 dogs. unconditional love!! dogs are the best for that

i've been trying the 180 approach lately. just doing the exact opposite of whatever i would've normally done. it seems to be working a little. i told him i found an apartment and was looking for a job in phoenix (where my best friend lives) and he was extremely surprised. i don't think he has thought this all the way through and didn't realize that i might not be around anymore.
i stopped arguing with him and trying to convince him to change his mind. so now we are civil at least. he's just very selfish and immature right now. and he's never been like that. i think you're right...the original H has been abducted by aliens!

my latest dilema is that last night i lost my mind for a minute and hacked into his emails. (we used to share an account so i still know the password). i found an email from yesterday to a girl that i know for sure is just a friend but not a good friend. she had just sent a friendly how are you email to which he responded "i'm in the middle of leaving my girl, it's alot of drama i don't need to deal with right now." i'm pissed for two reasons. first, we agreed we wouldn't talk about this to anyone that wasn't necessary and seeing as how she isn't a good friend of his i don't think he should be announcing our situation to her. second, if he has indeed left me it would be nice if he told me about it instead of some random person. now i'm hurt and pissed and i can't even say anything to him b/c i'm not about to tell him i looked at his emails. i guess it's my fault for looking in the first place. i know that it wasn't right. i was thinking of coming up with a story so that i could ask him about it without letting him know i looked at his emails. but i'm thinking maybe i should just drop it and move on.