Thanks for your reply, I have looked at your story and admire your attitude, your wife is giving very mixed signals saying one thing then doing the opposite which has to be really hard. I salute you for your strength.
My W on the other hand seems to be saying the bad things and doing some bad things, she has not acknowledged or hinted that there may be a chance and is going out loads. I don't know if it is due to confusion or determination or what. She seems set and rational when I speak to her and when I push (bad) she diggs in and gets.....'spikey' (verbally nasty) eg: 'I need a big stick so I can beat it into your f*cking thick head that its over' - I am going on the believe none of what you hear and half of what you see but don't know where to draw the line.
She said the other day she missed the foot rubs and back rubs...but that was about it. - lol in 9.5 years, thats all eh?
Everyone (friends/family) thinks her behaviour is bizzare and extreme and that what she says the problems are are not insurmountable and certainly not a reason to end a relationship and marriage.
Ok, our relationship has been poor for a year and I did nothing for our relationship for 6 months or so due to depression. I understand I did not help enough around the house and that she felt like my mother rather than my wife, I understand that I did too much of my own thing and didn't do enough with her (very little over last 6 months).
Why is this so bad that we need to split up and affect loads of people and ruin 9.5 years of relationsip and 4 years of marriage?!?!?!?
My thinking somewhat is ok, she felt unloved because I didn't show it and wants to chuck it in, I feel unloved at the moment as she is being a f*cking b!tch and divorcing and so on but I am still prepared to sort out our relationship and marriage and move on together, I know it doesn't quite work that way, and it has only been 8 weeks since issues started and 6 weeks since she said she wanted a divorce.
Going to hang in there still and look after me, it is surreal that my wife and best friend has done/is doing this. I hope she runs out of steam or something but at the moment it seems there is no stopping her. Ultimately a divorce is a bit of paper and it is the relationship that is at the core of it. She does not seem to be budging yet and appears to be desperate to get out.
(sigh)
Hope everyone is doing well (or as well as it can be) don't give up
Me: 30 W: 31 T: 9.5 yrs M: 4 Yrs No Kids, 1 cat Had a bad year Turmoil started 22/Jan/08 Seperated, same house 30/Jan/08 Wanted D: 2/Feb/08 Going downhill and towards D with nothing stopping her!
