Yes I would, in a car,
Yes I would, in a bar.
I would do it, on a boat,
Wear no undies, 'neath my coat.

I would hurt you,
Yes I would.
I would hurt you,
Cuz I could.

I do not like this thing I am,
I do not like me, Sam-I-am.
But you see, it's hard to stop
My brain's awash,
From bottom to top

I do not like this thing I am,
I do not like me, Sam-I-am.

(with apologies to Dr. Seuss)