I was pretty pleased w/ how well it went and I just hope I wasn't too critical of W's actions when I was discussing my concerns about her A, her depression, emotional stability, drinking and hurting herself. I tried to be affirming of her alleged feelings and even said something like this at one point "Eventhough I never had any clue about how my W was feeling, I'm not going to discount that she may have actually been afraid of me. It is very possible she was afraid of me, but I just didn't know it."
I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall when W goes into see him especially when/if they begin to discuss her A and other behaviors. I'm not sure how the topics will come out, but I'm pretty confident that W will continue to be in denial of her role in any of this and will not admit to any of her projection of feelings onto me. The beauty of this process is our evaluator is a forensic psychiatrist, so he's like a cop looking for any and all clues. I'm feeling pretty good that he'll sniff out W's hidden information.
I guess the saddest thing would be if this goes in my favor at all, W will be faced w/ moving again and some real emotional pain that I never wanted her to experience. I know I'll feel guilty about it, but I am continuing to remind myself that I have to take on the role of bad guy in her eyes for the short run in order to maintain what is best for my D in the long run. Also, I offered several times not to have to go through this process as long as we agreed on 50/50. W steadfastly refused and now she'll have to face the music.
D4 will be meeting w/ the evaluator w/ each of us separately and w/ the evaluator by herself. That will be scary for her and I hope she does ok.
I'll have two sessions and 3 hours in w/ the evaluator by 5 pm next Tuesday. I don't even think W has any sessions scheduled, so maybe that will also make me appear to be in a positive light w/ this situation.
