MLC BS/2?

[missmyfriend]

I think Jack is trying to say (correct me Jack if I am reading your post incorrectly) that you are a man of extremes. You are stating that the life with your W was a waste. Even if you did not have your Ds, you are rewriting history and doubting the good times that you two, as husband and wife, probably shared.

If I was going to guess, you may not have a single positive person, off the boards, giving you encouragement and speaking well of your wife and you at the same time. Helping you to be strong and kind and loving, and not allowing your negative emotions to control you. If you do have that person, are you listening? Conventional wisdom (using the word wisdom loosely) is to get mad and get even. CW says that is a show of strength.

Your statement that "I always valued my family more than anything..." sounds as though it is past tense? Why? They are still your family regardless of the mess it is currently in. This is where the "as if" role play should come into action.

Act "as if" everything is okay. Don't worry if that your Ds or your W will think you are accepting of the situation. They know you are not happy with it.

Selfless acts of love are not easy. Try to get off the emotional rollercoaster that you are on. Trust me that it is not easy. It is one of the most difficult things I am doing and I have to make sure that I don't jump back in all the time. It is so much better stepping back and watching the coaster than being on it making huge mistakes.

Listen to Jack. His sitch may not mirror yours exactly but the core similarities are there. He has been there and conquered this crap (and is continuing to piece his marriage back together).

mmf