You briefly mentioned a that things were your fault. It's probably that you both contributed to your marital problems, with perhaps you bearing more of the "fault." Obviously you can share here only what you feel like sharing, and I'm not asking for more information. I'm only saying that if you haven't followed the question of "What could I have done differently?" you will not use this crisis to grow. Take this time to look hard at yourself, at what you want from your partner (whether it's her or someone else), and what you have to give someone. She's on her own time and her own journey. She may figure out her "fault" six months from now, six years from now, or never. You don't know that, and you can't control it. Work on yourself in every sense of that phrase. That means taking care of the day to day things, as well as looking deeply at yourself. That looking at yourself takes time, and it can be painful, but it does lead to growth if you stick with it. I've been on this path, and for all the pain of separation (and likely a D), I wouldn't want to go back to the old me. I really mean that. Lights have come on about all sorts of things in my life, and while it's been hard it's been necessary and good too. I hope you are on a similar path.
