Letter from WAW after she flew to my city for talk

[GH31]

Mr. Gratefulweb & Just_Me,

Thanks to both of you for listening to my ventings and vitriol. I would much rather be venting on here than to my wife. That would in fact defeat the whole purpose of DBing.

I did get a call from my wife yesterday at lunchtime. I ended up changing my Skype password so that she couldn't use it anymore as it's linked up to my credit card, but she emailed me asking for it so she could call me. When I had spent sufficient time calming myself down (and doing a 180 by not responding immediately) I gave it to her, she called and we spoke for over an hour.

We spoke about lots of things - in fact the conversation was relatively positive, but towards the end of the conversation I casually interjected that I had to go because I needed to call my credit card company. When she asked why, I very casually and almost indifferently said that for some reason two unauthorized transactions were showing up on my credit card statement and that I needed to get a new number issued so that it didn't happen again.

Silence

Then she spluttered like an old car and admitted that she had used my card numbers. She had bought a DVD set when she was "feeling down" and used my card to pay for the flight to see me last week. To be fair, everything else she has paid for on her own nickel and rightly so. I'm still angry that she has done it but I know that venting, lecturing etc. will get me nowhere - it will simply make matters worse.

Anyway, during the conversation she said that she has really been missing me and that she can't imagine life without us being together. She said she wants to come home in 2 weeks time to get back together...after this holiday with OM and his colleagues to France. I asked her if she's sure that's what she wanted and she said "yes, I have been thinking about it constantly". She even asked me to make an appointment with the fertility clinic.

My reaction was cool, cautious and if anything curious.

Now, some of you might think that's cause for jumping up and down but I am still very wary and cautious. That is still 2 weeks away and when DBing 2 weeks can be a long time. I am still not going to take any notice of what she says and only 50% notice of what she does. She will need to move all of her stuff in two trips so I will consider us "back together" once she's back from the second trip. However, I am encouraged by what she has been saying. She also sent me a load of pictures of wonderful moments that we've shared together on different trips and occasions, saying that we make the best team, but....I am still not going to jump up and down yet. I've been dealing with people long enough (I'm a headhunter) to know that what people say and what they do are two very different things. Things aren't always what they seem. Cautious optimism is the way to go.

I also know that if we are back together, then the real work of Piecing will begin and she may take a few months to get over the OM. I even mentioned this to her in the phone conversation. 2 years ago I gave up caffeine and found that very, very hard but I am SO glad that I did; I shared with her that she can expect it to be tough. However, if she does come back and I do get a second chance at my marriage then I will be one very happy guy.