She's Gone - No Contact (Part 2)

[NikB]

Hi K - finally have some time to check back in! (please don't think I've been ignoring you, I just haven't been on a whole lot lately.. in fact long overdue for an update on my own thread).

I think Just_Me makes some good points.

I know you say your life's not "on hold" waiting for her, but it sure appears that way from what we see here. Granted we only see a very small part of the story, but hopefully it's good to know how it looks from the "outside."

I have never had anyone break up with me before like this but people I have "ended" it with - you're right - I have never looked back and have no desire to reconcile with any of them. But obviously many people do or there would be no hope for all the people on this site. Am I right on this?

I'm sorry.. I know how much this hurts (and how much what I'm about to say will hurt). I DO think a lot of people here have reason to hope, but many don't, as well. I know for example that when my SIL left her XH.. there was NO CHANCE. I've said it before but in case you haven't seen it.. he could find world peace and the cure for cancer, she would still want NOTHING to do with him. She was that "done" by the time she left. My stepmom also left my dad last year.. I think he had a chance for a few months but when nothing changed, she left, again, no chance now. I think sooo many people have partners still in doubt, but sometimes, it really is just too far gone.

Is that the case for you? Don't know... but it may be true. And like Just_Me, I think you'll actually be MORE attractive (to yourself and possibly to her, if she notices) if you think of it that way.

I DON'T think you should date until you feel ready, you are happy with yourself and might just want to share that with someone else. I don't personally think you're there but that's a choice you have to make of course. If you had let her go at this point I'd say go for it.. but I don't think you have yet.

Give up hope? Nah.. but give up on your old R? Yes, definitely. Something special could happen again, but move on until then.

Sorry..ouch.. ((((K))))