She has shut you out. She has emotionally divorced herself from you and you have no idea how long ago she did it. That means that you're probably months behind her in coming to terms with the problems that had been building up in the relationship.
You need to find a way to keep all interactions with her as positive as possible. Show her that you're a good person who doesn't deserve the kind of treatment she's dishing out - your positive attitude will sink in at some level.
You can't react to her. You have no control over what she does and reacting to her will only frustrate you. I know it sounds impossible, but it's only making the pain worse. Find a balanced place within yourself where you know what you want and need out of life. It isn't going to happen overnight, but once you accept the situation and try to learn from it, try to expand your own life, it will make everything better.
Trust me, it gets easier, even though right now you don't feel like you can deal with it another day. I know you don't get it. I don't get my W. I may never get my W, and at this point, how much would I really benefit by knowing the "why's?". I know the negative elements I brought into my M and you know what wasn't working in yours. My W wasn't capable of approaching the problem in a responsible manner, neither is yours. So don't spin your wheels but pick yourself up and think about what life has to offer.
I'm sitting in my house right now knowing next week I have to discuss selling it with W, who wants to D as fast as possible. That sucks, but what does it get me by fretting about it? Just heartache. It's just stuff. I've lived other places, I've moved, I'll be okay. And so will you. But first you have to have faith in yourself.
