You are kind. I find you to be a very grounded person, and you often point out things that help me get a little more centered when I am spinning. I still feel very hopeless. It's so strange that in the MC, there is all kinds of connection happening--laughter, anger, tears, sadness--but at the same time, she seems gone, gone gone.
One thing that I forgot to add about the conversation in the car after the session was that she said "I was listening to myself and the things I've said and been saying to you and I think--wow--I'm a hag. Was I really that bad?" I said "You never came across with a mean-spirited intent, but you have said those things and conveyed that sense of never being satisfied...all mixed up with joking and humour and other things. Yes, you have said those things, but I don't think you are a 'hag'. I just don't think it helped you get what you wanted or bring us closer."
It's so incredible to me that in our MC sessions, there have been a couple of points where the MC was exploring with her what she was looking for--whether in our relationship or outside of it. It was always like a blank space for my W. She could never define what she wanted...other than "out" I suppose. But that's not even really an answer of what she DOES want in her life. I try to understand this, but it is very hard for me that someone would take such massive and devastating steps to change her life without knowing what she wants. I guess maybe just knowing what she doesn't want is enough to know.
