As posted...after filing.....I continued to show my W..in quiet ways...that there could be ways to avoid going thru this. As a reminder, my W followed me in the pouring rain to a gas station on the night that I was going to stay overnight at my buddy Paul's house, upstate. I stood out in the rain, consoling her, as she begged me not to sleep over (she believed, despite what I told her..that I was going to stay overnight with a woman....which I wasn't). Almost out of Casablanca...I stood there, outside her car door, telling her that this was in her hands....that...she knows what it would take by now to turn our M around...that bridges needed to be rebuilt between our families and the trust needed to be rebuilt. I went upstate...but came back in the wee hours.
Since this time, my W tried to spoon with me...typically coming downstairs on the couch at 5AM while I was dead asleep. Some people criticized me for allowing her to do this, but, my W had told me at one point that "on some level, it helps to ease my pain". I knew that this was being done FOR HER...and not for us...and that all would change after the complaint came in. In fact, my W spooned with me the morning that she went to her L's to get it.
One day, about 2 weeks or so, my W did something she hasn't done in.....months? a year? or more? She came to my office and brought D4 with her. Her reason? D4 wanted to bring me coffee. No. She came for another reason....and not sure why. To say goodbye? To see my office manager one more time? To check out if my practice was busier? The following day I got a text from her: I guess you could tell that I heard from my L that your complaint came in. I'm scared."
All through this time, I let her know DESPITE what others recommended...that I had to write those 30 evil things....that it was required by me by the State of NY....that is was the most painful thing I have ever had to do...that this was what she wanted. There was ample time for her to express desire to stop this...or express some regret...etc. None was forthcoming.
On the morning of her receipt of the complaint...she lied to me. She told me that she was going to her hair salon to cut a wedding party. Again, the lie seemed very real. She lies very well. I am not sure why she didn't just come out and say "I have an appt with my L to pick up the complaint"....especially since she already told me that her L told her it was in. When she came home, her eyes were red...she was withdrawn......
To follow. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
