Well today really sucked. My w sends me so many mixed singles, she brought me a gift of green tea because i had talked about her new love of the stuff. she hasent done something like that for a long time. then my wife went right into MC and told the C how the weekend was to much. It was three days of pressure. So I tried something Hound if your out there please don’t be mad but I stuck up for myself, which I haven’t really done since this all started. I told her she was right it was to much for me as well and I didn’t know any more either. I told her three allowed me to put to many expectations on her which wasn’t fair to her, or to me. I didn’t read your post yet lady, and I did bring up the date night. And yes she wasn’t responsive in the least.
She went into machine gun mode and brought up every little thing I did wrong. Even the C stated that with her anxiety that maybe she was creating a environment were I could be seen as wrong even when I wasn’t. Well the W said NO I am open minded. She brought up I had left my dirty underwear by the bed (which she wasn’t in) and how I left my boots between the two beds. I told her “W when you told me to move them I did. I thank you for the times you correct my attitudes and judgments because I really am oblivious to when I’m doing wrong.” The W asks why should she have to always tell me to which I replied in a very quiet voice “because you a good friend and I need my friend s to cal me out if I make them uncomfortable. Otherwise I really won’t know.”
Well she goes into a tangent on how when im with my guy friends im a different person. I told her she was right and I need to be more aware of that. I might have back traced a little and said that we are all different with our friends then we are with the people we are seeing ( dating, or married) well she didn’t want to hear that and explained she was worried that this is who I was and I could not change. The C asked if these behaviors were less then they were before, to which the w responded “Yes but I just don’t know…”
So I did a little 180 and told my W I’m on the fence as well. I told her that if we were dating I probably would not call her back, she acts disinterested and seems to find fault.. she stated that was bull [censored]. She stated she has tried for years to pick up with me and if im giving up after a few months then I never cared. I told her she puts me in a no win situation. If I pursue I’m wrong and if I take a step back im wrong.
She started to cry and said then maybe your right you can’t win and actually got up to leave…
I told her to please wait so she did sit back down. I told her that I’m on the fence because I need to distance myself form the situation because she has told me a lot more info ( see previous posts about the weekend) and I need to be able to thing. I said maybe I will call you next week and maybe I wont but for right now I’m going to thing on what was said. I told her I needed to find out who I was as well.
She actually stated then she wants to know what she does to make me uncomfortable so I told her. 1. You are flirtatious with other guys and you don’t wear your ring or even introduce me so I feel like I’m being cut off, and when I do come in you act like I’m not trusting 2. You don’t give me the slack you will even give you other male friends when it comes to volume or thing said. She thanked me for letting me know. Does this seem a little like its against the DB way of passive acceptance? Well our meeting ended there and she walked out and already has a another C session set for next week.
Im going to text her happy Easter on Sunday, I also have her camera from the weekend and she and some friends are going out on Friday to celebrate a friends birthday. Im going to leave her camera in her truck at work, no note just the camera. The counsoler is accredited like the DR book say sand she told me on the way out my W seems to want to be pursued still and to keep being patient. Time is all I have. Were folks tell me what you think please
