Thank you all for your well wishes and I will take pics and figure out some way of sharing them you all when I get home.
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Super impressive little man there at 7. I at 15 couldn't master the piano and gave up. Goood for him. My S8 has taken classical guitar lesson on and off for a couple years and I would like to get him back into that. D5 wants to do something but isn't sure yet.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
You all will be very happy to know that I have not in any way shape or form contacted H. He has called for the kids and I as usual allow the kids to answer. We also though have not been waiting around at 7:30 like we always had been either. We are having fun and can't sit by the phone waiting for his 7:30 call. So phooey in him.
Anyway, we are all having a good time and the kids are having a ball playing with many of their cousins. I have been enjoying the libations with my adult cousins and aunt's and uncle's. St. Patty's day parties were yesterday since it falls today. I drank myself into oblivion lastnight and enjoyed the sh*t out of myself. I need this to help get my mind off my situation.
I hope I can keep the good times going when I get home and not sabotage things.
Have a great week and I will update again if time allows.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
I am happy that you are having a good time. YES, let your S and D answer the phone. My H calls at 730 too and I let them talk. He will say, "Put Mom on the phone." I know it is hard not to call when we think of them, but I see that is better not to say much. Happy you are laughing!
me 41 H 37 married 11 S10 S6 Bomb 11-21-07 he moved out 12-09-07
Nice to hear from you both. Thanks for chiming in. My H never asks to talk to me so that makes it easy I guess...maybe...
He called lastnight and we were all having a good time doing things that the kids missed the call. He left a slightly snide voicemail so around 9:10 I dialed him twice and handed the phone to daughter and he never answered nor did he call this morning when he saw that he missed 2 calls potentially if he never heard his phone lastnight. He is being a real a** lately and I just have to let it go. He is only hurting himself in the long run, well his kids too that will both grow up to remember these things and develop resentment towards him.
Anyway, we are off to New Hampshire to ski and tube and play in the snow today through tomorrow before we head back here to Mass. for the rest of our trip.
Will update again in a couple days. Thanks all for reading and letting me journal.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
Yes I know I am on vacation but I have been online and noticed that my H did infact file Limited Divorce papers yesterday with our local court. I sent him a text asking him when I should expect to receive the papers since I see he filed them. That is all I sent.
Now what? I really never thought it would happen. Is this when I now sit back and get real still and quiet and let things slide right off me? Or do I get worried and go into panic mode and counter file on grounds of desertion/abandonment and go for child support and spousal support, etc...?
Help ASAP everyone I need it. I won't be able to sleep tonight.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
Heather - Sorry to hear about the latest downturn.
Dont worry about rushing anything. These things take a long time. It will be best that when you get back home that you take the papers that you are served to an L to get advice on how to proceed. I dont think you let this slide off you - stand up for your rights. From what you said about Maryland, it can take a very long time to get divorced.
You need to settle down and get some sleep tonight. My mother told me that if I ever have problems sleeping that Tylenol PM works pretty good.
It may be best to get into the mode of thinking optimistically of what your life will be like after a D. If you can do this, then you are truly detaching from this nightmare and it might improve your chances that your H might have a change of heart over time. I say this because I am at that point where I am moving ahead with wanting to get my D finished, however, my WAS is now having her doubts about her path she is taking in her life.
Many divorces are busted right up to the point of signing the final papers.
I really wish I could do this right now. The betrayal feels so much more intense now than it did when he left...odd?!?!
I want to call him and talk to him and basically tell him I give in and he can have and do what he wants and that the kids and I will be gone out of his life for good. And then I want to just pack up our 3 lives and start new and fresh in a totally new town/state where no one knows my business and I can truly start a new life and maybe find a man that hopefully can become my best friend and soul mate and not betray me like H has.
I mean at this point do I really even want to put forth any more effort into trying to DB my marriage when he is obviously so certain that he wants it over? I really feel like someone who has just been beaten and left for dead. But at the same time I want to get up and fight for myself and kids but don't want to fight too hard and run the risk of pushing him farther away if there is any chance over the next 12 months he could have a change of heart.
Oh boy....never thought I would be here. But then again none of us did.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
I understand your feelings of betrayal and your your thoughts of escaping to a new place. We are so alike. Please don't panic. I agree with Kerry. Many D are busted at the last second. I am a sign language interpreter for the deaf and I was thinking yesterday about how the signs for suffer and patience are almost the same. I don't know if you read bowtech notes, here is the link. http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1097934&site_id=1#import
I don't agree with all of it, but scroll down and read where Live happy, Always agree, Be confident starts. Then read about the Special As If Attitude. I copied and pasted it to my word program, then changed some of the wording to fit my situation. I read it often.
I wrote my H a few days ago about how I don't appreciate him not informing my about things he has done like changing the registration on one of our cars to his name only. I said I see that we need to see SBT to help us with the D (he seems to want) to help us do it without hurting each other more. Also it would help the boys. He agreed to go. I am pulling away from him. I mentioned that I had a bad experience a few days ago(bad reaction to pain shot) He wanted me to tell him about it. I would like to, but honestly I can't. I told him I couldn't right now. I have to remember he is not here for me right now. I talked to friends about it. As I pull away, he is coming toward me. Weird, but true.
Try not to discuss the papers with him. Don't show him how hurt you are that he has filed them. Kerry is right, take them to a L. Please don't give up, get the As If Attitude! I know you can do it!
me 41 H 37 married 11 S10 S6 Bomb 11-21-07 he moved out 12-09-07
