Tia--thank you for your words of support. Our MC has been excellent. I know she could take us very far should there be a joint commitment to work on improving the relationship. I have considered the coaching sessions, but now I feel like it is already over. I don't know what to do on this. THANK YOU for saying that you care about me. This brought tears to my eyes. I feel like I need constant hugs, but unfortunately so far there isn't anyone I can get hugs from. This sounds silly, but I really have been aware of the lack of physical contact...I really yearn for it.
Tree--I'm so sorry that your sitch has taken this next turn. I cannot imagine how much this hurts to hear. Please know that we still have love for you, though I know that falls so far short of what you want. Keep posting and stay connected to us, okay?
Ali--you are a real beacon of light for me. You have a kindness about you that is so real and I appreciate you for it. I think I'm going to pull back at this time, still responding to contact, but not initiating any. I've said all I can say. I'm cringing for that final email letter. In December she wrote me something like "if I'm honest, deep down inside I just can't be bothered to try and work on it. As painful as it is for both of us, our souls need to part and go in different ways. Maybe with closure, now the healing can begin". She revoked that email 24 hours after sending it, saying it was "premature". But now, I figure she's going to resend the same thing. It was the most painful words I had ever heard in my life. And now I think I need to get ready to hear it again, this time "for real".
I feel this weird thing of incredible pain, tears, and yet numb.
