Affair is over and WW is responding

[Hope4us]

I've got a thread going on MLC, but I really think it probably belongs here. Can anyone tell me how to link that thread here and then I'll just continue posting on the infidelity forum as it seems more appropriate in my sitch?

[Hope4us]

Ok, Here is the link from my thread on MLC. I'll continue on from here in this forum.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1394742&page=0&fpart=2

[Doing_My_Best]

How about posting a "cliff notes" version of your story here, and then updating that with your journal entries as things progress?

[Hope4us]

Ok, I can do that. Here's the cliff note version.

- WW and I relocated for work Nov 06.
- We both work for same company. I'm a manager, WW an admin.
- Good marriage until the move, even by WW's admission.
- According to WW, I'm a good dad, good provider, make her feel safe, make her feel comfortable, do more than my share of domestic chores, but OM makes her laugh and feel confident.
- Mar 07 WW starts affair with co worker after talking a lot about "friend at work".
- I suspected for quite a while, but she finally admitted 9/4/07.
- Got all the typical Fog speak. ILYBINILWY. Never Loved you whole marriage. Every time we ML it was only sex to her the whole marriage. You know the drill.
- After discovery WW would go away to see OM every other weekend as OM had moved ~250 miles away to another location with our company.
- OM lives 1000 miles from his W and kids. Moves from location to location every 2 years or so.
- Exposed to OMW on 11/13. OMW tells me this is the 4th or 5th affair he's had that she knows of. Also tells me he's an alcoholic, is physically abusive with her and verbally abusive to her and their kids. 2 of 3 kids hate him. Real piece of work.
- OM ends A according to OMW once she found out.
- WW tries to hook up with OM one more time after exposure. I called OMW 5 minutes after she's out the door to let her know.
- OMW tells OM she wants a divorce. This probably gave WW hope "they" could live happily ever after.
- OM seems to have broken it off but WW still hangs on to A.
- Early Feb I expose WW's STD to OMW who tells OM who rips on WW.
- End of affair as best I can tell at that point.
- WW says she wants a D at that time.
- I tell WW I will not agree to a "friendly" D and if she files I will counter sue on grounds of adultery.
- Began GAL and moving on with or without her that night.
- WW seems to be responding since that time.
- Sunday morning WW and I discussed buying a car for DS19. I told her I wouldn't agree if she was filing for D. WW says she's not going anywhere until "at least" DS15 graduates H.S.
- Since that talk, WW has been like a new person. Ok, really like my old wife.

That's the cliff notes version.

[Doing_My_Best]

Great summary! Sounds like you have been through the storm and are hopefully coming out of it. Please keep posting!

[Hope4us]

I will keep posting. I've got a great brother and a great lady friend (not what you think, her and her hubby have been my friends since 8th grade) who have been helping me through this, but I find it soothing to write about the mess on this (and another) forum.

WW sent me another email today that she didn't have to. Since Sunday she's been contacting me while we're both at work. Hasn't done that since Sept (except to be nasty to me. If anyone ever want to hear what NASTY really sounds like, let me know).

She took the afternoon off work to pick DS19 up from school for spring break. I can't wait to see him! He's grown into such a fine young man. I bout burst inside with pride everytime I think of him (of course we're going to have to talk about his cell bill when he gets home)! He and I are going to go to a sports bar and watch the NCAA's all day Friday! It'll be another thing showing WW I'm having fun without her (not that that is the purpose).

Speaking of cell phones. Anyone else HATE their spouses cell phone like I do? My brother and I already have plans for it if WW and I make our marriage work. I have no problem buying her a new one, but I absolutely HATE what her cell phone stands for. Anyway, I'm going to take the phone to my brothers house and he's going to throw the phone up and let me shoot it with my late dad's single shot 10 gauge shotgun. I've dreamed about that for many a night.

I've also got plans for the victoria's secret affair garments. Big bonfire in the back yard while doing a victory dance around the fire! Honestly, WW spend close to $1200 on VS stuff the last year. Not all undies, some clothes also, but their are a couple of under garments specifically that I want to douse with lighter fluid and watch them go up in flames!

Ok, done venting. Talk to you soon.

[Doing_My_Best]

I agree -- I HATE my wife's BlackBerry. She has used that thing to enable her A for a LONG time. Everytime I hear it ring, I get a shiver.

When my wife went away for a weekend (with our kids), I went through our house to get rid of all the left over A gifts, letters, anything I could find. etc. I didn't find much, except for a bunch of regular digital photos on her computer of the jerk. I deleted those....and receieved a h3ll storm of rage from my W for doing it. Not going to have pictures of the OM in MY house I said. "But those were MY picutres, MY memories... you had no right to do that" she said.

So I said...What "right" did you have to cheat on me???

[Hope4us]

I heard the same things Doing.

It's amazing how waywards are entitled to everything they want and all the affair momento's but they care nothing for our feelings.

I see a sh!t storm coming with my WW when we get to the point of her having to delete a few pictures she has on her cell phone of the day her and OM when to the Kentucky - LSU football game. OM is a huge LSU fan (season ticket holder). He asked OMW to get him tickets for the game and when she said it would be fun to go he told her he was going with a "friend" from work. This was before I exposed to her. Anyway, if you remember the game, LSU was #1 in the country and Kentucky won the game. It was the high point of my otherwise crappy weekend. I'm glad there wasn't a recorder in our family room as I dropped so many F LSU's I probably would have been arrested by the language police. OMW told me that night OM called her on the way home from the game and was all lovey dovey right before he violated my wife when they got back to his appartment. I will just never understand a wayward mindset that allows them to do something like they do and act like nothing's wrong.

Another story. One night before I had confirmed the A, but strongly suspected it, WW came home from her regular Friday night boink and we got into it. I asked her what marriage meant to her and she looked me right in the eye and said, "Trust, Fidelity and Love". And that was about 15 minutes after getting off her back at the POS's apartment. Unfrickin believable.

[Hope4us]

Last night was Ok. Not as good as the previous week, but still ok. WW was kind of quiet and not as talkative, but she had driven to pick DS19 from school and it's a 5 1/2 hour round trip so she was probably tired.

So just when things are looking up, I go up to bed last night and BAM, Trigger hits me between the eyes. WW has moved her winter undies to the bottom of the pile and moved the "special" undies to the top and most of those are "affair undies" and that hit me pretty hard.

All the distrust comes flooding back. Why is she wearing those? Is she getting involved with someone else? On and On. Had to put those thought right out of my head, although that's easier said than done. But then I thought back to 6 weeks ago when I told WW I couldn't and wouldn't go through her having another affair and she replied she couldn't either so I just chalked it up to her wanting to feel good about herself by dressing in stuff that makes her feel sexy.

Ok, now that I got that out I feel much better. And knowing in my heart that if she did start something with someone new it would be immediate filing on my part. I want her, but don't need her and since I've discovered that, I'm much more confident and I think she's recognizing it.

Thanks for listening!

[Doing_My_Best]

This should be the title of a Dr. Suess Book: "Oh, The Things a Wayward will Say!"

I have heard my W tell this to our kids:

To S4: "you can't be in our family if you are a liar." (He 'lied' about not having popcorn.) (Not kidding about this.)

To D7: "No matter what, you ALWAYS have to tell the truth." (Not kidding about this.)





The sequel to the book I mentioned above will be titled "Look What Cheaters Can Do!" Sounds like "Horton Hears a Who"..get it?

Here is the first page of the book...

I would cheat on you with a fox.
I would cheat on you in a box.

I would lie to you on a train.
I would lie to you in the rain.

I will sneak around like a mouse.
I will do bad things in your house.


Can you tell I have little kids at home????