They're Going Out of Town this Weekend

[Hope4us]

Do you know their address? Send her a certified letter that only she can sign for. Return receipt requested so you know if she got it or not. This is what I did because the OMW in my case lives 1000 miles away and only has a cell phone that I couldn't find the # for.

She got the letter and called me that night.

If you go that route, stick to the facts. Include just enough info to show her there is a problem. If you have more, tell her you can provide it if she wants to know more. Tell her you want help in saving your marriage and that can't happen with her BF in the middle of your marriage. Nothing more. Then give her a number she can reach you at IF she wants to talk. What ever you do, don't let your wife know you're going to do this. She will tell OM and he'll spin it to GF that you're a crazy jealous H to his "study" partner. Even if he convinces GF you're crazy, he'll distance himself from your wife if he values her. And really, what single guy would want a married woman with 3 kids when he already has a GF with none of the "attachments".

If you do this and GF calls you, keep it at arms length. I talked to OMW too much (she became dependent on me by her own admission) and she made contact with my WW a couple times without my knowing in advance and it probably delayed our possible reconcilation by a month.

Oh, and one more thing. don't expect exposure to be the magic bullet. What it will do is shine the light of day on the affair and make the affairees face "real" life, not the fantasy life they have now. What do you think their conversations will be like after exposure to the GF? I guarantee they won't be the fun, carefree conversations they're having now. And that's when the affair falls apart, when the real world get's involved.