I am on my way home and H calls and says he is leaving our house. He needs to take care of his car. He will not wait for me.
This morning I had an difficult moment with my boy. We were talking while I was getting ready to go to work and he asked who was going to be with him today since he had no school. I told him "your dad is coming, he 'll stay and you can play, eat go out together". He immediately started jumping up & down yelling "he told you? he told you he is coming back? I knew it!!!". He was so excited and happy. I had to really try and stay calm and said " no, he is coming over for the day whiile I'll be at work, he told you so yestreday, remember? he is not coming back"... You should have seen his face.
Later on the phone my H says he is on his way and I tell him the "little" incident. He reply was "I think I am having car troubles..." So I said bye and hung up.
I come home and my son is sweating (like if he was in despair) and very mad. Mad at me, mad at his sister, at the babysitter... He screams and tells me he wants to be left alone...
So, I call my H and tell him that we need to talk about the kids and especially about our son. This is the dialogue:
H-what about M-our son is having problems with the situation H-what do you mean M-right now the situation is as follows.... H-really? M-yes really and on Sat after the zoo, when I went with them at the party he was very upset, was standing all alone, was mad at the other kids etc. ect H-Really? M-Yes really. And I know I never tell you these things but now you need to know. I am having difficulties dealing with this and you need to know the truth. It's not about me or us, it's about our kids, we have to find a way to calm him down H- yes, I know he is not well, I've noticed that as well M- I thought their T told you as she told me we need to have a discussion and tell them this it, this is the situation, it's not gonna change H-.............................. M- Well, I thought you should know H..................... M-Did you read my mail? H- (sad, sad voice) Yes I did M- Ok, fine then, goodnight
I know I probably should have kept my mouth shut but I am furious. My boy is not handling this well. And it's worse since our R has improved. He believes its a matter of days and the disappointment is huge for him. Last time he told his T that daddy is mo re handsome now, mommy darkened her hair and they are nice to each other, pretty soon we'll be family again..." Kids sense everything...
I could tell my H was feeling very bad. This is the first time since my 180, LTR, that I bring the kids in the picture in this way. Mostly because I knew him feeling guilty wouldn't help his confusion. But I had enough. I am not sharing with you guys very often the little similar incidents I face everyday, but believe me, there are times when I am very sad ONLY because of my kids. I am ok and I'll be happy again but for them there is no substitute, no replacement, no easy way to deal with this. We had chosen to be together every minute of our free time (not much). The 4 of us, we were a team, friends, FAMILY. We even had a ritual and used to say to them that as long as we are all together there is nothing to be afraid of. Where does that leave my kids now? Stupid me, stupid H, what a mess f&%K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
