I was hoping to be the for-real Disney parent later this year. But if W insists on making things hot for us legally, that is going to be impossible. The L fees are going to wipe us both out for a long time to come.
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While I have been advised not to in the past, and I keep talking myself out of it, I keep coming back around to deciding whether to contact the W of the OM or leave it alone. It is the need for more information that is driving me.
I am certain she (OM's W) knows already that the SOB is cheating on her with my W, and that's why he was forced to move out back in July, just a few weeks after I did. I also know from the PI that he no longer resides in his marital home and hasn't since that time.
I have been given multiple warnings over the past that making contact could very well backfire on me and force the end of my M. But I am getting to the point where I am realizing that all the DB'ing the world is not going to save my M anyway. My W is unerringly steering us towards D. In fact, as time progresses, that becomes more and more solidified in her mind -- nothing I can say or do will have any effect on her stubborn, willful behavior.
So I am concluding that contacting the other W won't cause any more harm than is already happening. W is still on the slow and steady path to rub me out of her life and that of our S's. W is still extremely hostile towards me. She still sees me as her enemy and she resists any notion that we should get along. W is already on a warfare footing, hot or cold it doesn't matter.
The possible benefit is that I might be able to piece more of the picture together. I feel there is still quite a lot I don't know, especially about the OM. Granted, it will be tainted information coming from the OM's W, but I can take that into consideration.
The worst that could happen, as far as I can imagine, is that she (OM's W) refuses to talk to me. I see that as no harm, no foul. Or, it could precipitate the pushing of W and OM closer, but there's nothing preventing that now. It's happening now -- W is decidedly detached from me and our R already.
W's running the clock out, waiting with baited breath for the first legal moment she can file for D. I keep praying something will change the course of our impending dissolution, that God will work his miracle in W's heart. But I have to realize that God cannot/will not intervene in that manner unless W lets Him. There's that darn free-will thing getting in the way again.
The only thing that holds me back is that I had asked God to take this burden from me -- I gave this over to Jesus to handle. If I take matters in my own hand in this manner, would that be a sore demonstration of a lack of faith on my part? I remember the lesson of how much eventual harm took place (even until this very day) because Sara, Abram's wife, took matters in her own hands and sought out the servant girl to provide her husband with an heir. If Sara had but only waited on the Lord to fulfill His promise to her, so much misery could have been avoided.
I think in my case that I need to stand fast in my faith in God, but realize that where it comes to the actions and wills of human beings, God defers to His decision to grant us free will, for better or for worse. It's in our hands. In this case, God can try what he can, but he will not violate our free will. This means that on the subject of W's heart, it is entirely in her own hands. God won't intervene unless W allows Him in.
So, I still keep periodically debating myself as to whether I should take actions that might display a lack of faith in my lord and savior. Or just be patient for a miracle.
(I will say this -- no matter what, if we end in D anyway, I will have no holds on me to not pursue what confrontational avenue I deem prudent. I will let everyone in her family and all of her friends know the truth of what really has been happening. I will hide her sins no longer after that.)
