I will try this again with a clearer head..help

[Dom R]

good morning

Now, the other unsure thing is, God hates divorce..ok. Now if the D happens anyway because of Ws free will, Im sure God realizes I have done all that could be based on that. So, for me to let her have D, God can work on me, and perform miracles with me that will glorify Him, and let me know that it was ok to let the D happen..

I reckon that is a very bibically clean set of statements.
Btw: in most states, you cant "stop" the divorce. And even in those other states... all she has to do is move to another state for 6 months, and file there!
So, you "letting her" have a divorce, doesnt make sense to begin with. There's really only a matter of whether you are also pushing for it to go faster or not.

I just dont understand sometimes how if God hates divorce...even if it happens, how does God view us then..as sinning if we have other Rs and a potential new W? Even if we did all we could to save the M?

The bible is fairly clear on that point also.
1st Corinthians 7:15
If you do everything you can to be a good husband and save the marriage.. but SHE still pushes the divorce through for selfish reasons... then there is no sin on your side.
(Just so long as the "other Rs" happen AFTER the divorce!!!)

Now, if W wanted out, and God wanted the M to survive, couldnt He have interceded in some way, since I wanted it, and I knew it would give thanks and praise to the Lord?

You wanted it... but your wife did not. That would interfere with her free will, would it not?

[hope that ... ]God will open Ws eyes for her, and let her see what she is leaving, and at least give her the opportunity to come back...but what if it doesnt happen?

It may very well not happen. you need to be prepared for that.
Amoung other things, your faith and Christianity is being tested right now. Are you willing to "do the right thing",even when it could mean you will never effectively be married again?
Sad but true story:
I have an aunt. wonderful woman. kind, Christian...
Her husband separated from her, because of a fight over his doubts of her in a particular area.
She lived as a separated (non-dating, faithful) woman, until he died.
for 20 years.

Sad for her... but very inspiring for me, both from the perspective of, "it is doable", and also inspiring by the results that it had in her life.
She missed out on having a loving spouse with her... but she has children who love her (and come visit her frequently), and good friends who love and respect her. She has a good life.
It's not the life she probably would have chosen, if she had HER way. But she chose God's way. And through Him.. she had a good life of His choosing.

An excellent example of, "Do the right thing, and then take your happiness from knowing you are doing good", , over
"Do whatever you feel like doing, and then try to convince yourself that what you want to do, is also 'the right thing to do'"