In my case, I have become very excessive in my emotions, with a need to be extra loving and loved, both verbally and physically. While this is normal for a person who has lost love, it can probably be scary to the other spouse, who may see it as excessive. You can't make up for all of the lost ML or ILY, and you can't prove to yourself that he or she loves you by having sex or hearing ILY. If you see those things in this way, it's like a drug. As soon as you pass a couple of days without ML or a few times w/ no ILY, the doubts creep back. Don't make your love dependent on these proofs, as it has had me stuck in the land of analyzing every move and gesture instead of living the moment.
Illuminata, This last point struck a cord with me. W and I reconciled at the beginning of this year and in the first several weeks, the intimacy was at an all time high. It was like we had just met each other, and in a sense, it was like a new relationship. I can see that I may have become dependant on this as proof of her love. The past week or so, I have seen a shift in her desire which lead me to doubting and questioning, which lead her to getting irritated with my pushing for intimacy. Not a good cycle and I need to focus on what is really important. She is here with me in the marriage. She has committed to working on the marriage. We can fix this and be happy again.
