LOL... I sure love those visuals you guys give me of OW. Not flattering, that's a fact. As soon as I saw who W's OM was I knew the attraction there wasn't physical, it was something deeper. Which is actually more bothersome to me because then you get into the whole 'we're soulmates' mentality that W might have about him... again something that I can't compete with given that our love is mature and she's still in the puppy-love stage with him. I have been tempted to photocopy the section in DB about 'falling out of love' and giving to her. Our R is relatively new compared to most people on this board. We've know eachother almost 7 years, dating for 5 1/2, married for 2 1/2. When she told me she was having A she also said ILYBINILWY. When she found someone that could support her emotionally better than I was doing she went for it and thinks she's in love. The section of the book I'd like to have her read is about how falling in love is a temporary feeling and once the honeymoon is over so to speak the relationship enters a danger zone. It says that in this danger zone that where A's happen and if S run off with OP they're likely to realize later, when their honeymoon is over that they 1) made a huge mistake by leaving first S or 2) Don't believe they are capable of loving. What they just need to realize is that the spark isn't always going to be there like it was at first. It will come and go but that first love and attraction a couple has doesn't last, it's completely normal, and it's just what happens. I've heard that letting S read the book could backfire, but I mentioned to her last night when she came over that there is a part of the book I think she should read. She seemed intrigued.
Ever since I got the phone bill on Monday I have stopped initiating all contact with my W. But she has still been initiating communication with me. Yesterday morning she e-mailed me from work asking if I wanted to go on a break with her to run back to my place and get a soda. I've got a soft spot for her so I accepted. She could have gone by herself but I like seeing her so I came along too. I know it was a little thing, but it was very random because she's never asked me to do anything like that before. I am thinking it was excuse she used to see me.
For the rest of the day I didn't initiate any contact. Then last night she called me to see what I was up to. I was planning on watching some movies I rented with my roommates. When I asked her what she was doing she said she was thinking of coming over and having wine with me. Again, I wanted to see her and didn't have it in me to say otherwise. So she came over and we hung out and talked for about an hour. No R talk came up, it almost did but I changed the subject when I could see where it was going.
I didn't have the heart to bring up the phone bill or her R with OM so that conversation might be saved for another night or I just might bury it. She hasn't mentioned anything about OM in a long time so she might think I'm oblivious to the fact that she's still seeing him. I just don't know how to safely approach this subject.
I'd like to truly thank all of you who have been reading about my situation and offering advice. Your advice has been inspirational to me.
I sure love those visuals you guys give me of OW. Not flattering, that's a fact. As soon as I saw who W's OM was I knew the attraction there wasn't physical, it was something deeper. Which is actually more bothersome to me because then you get into the whole 'we're soulmates' mentality that W might have about him... again something that I can't compete with given that our love is mature and she's still in the puppy-love stage with him. I have been tempted to photocopy the section in DB about 'falling out of love' and giving to her. Our R is relatively new compared to most people on this board. We've know eachother almost 7 years, dating for 5 1/2, married for 2 1/2. When she told me she was having A she also said ILYBINILWY. When she found someone that could support her emotionally better than I was doing she went for it and thinks she's in love. The section of the book I'd like to have her read is about how falling in love is a temporary feeling and once the honeymoon is over so to speak the relationship enters a danger zone. It says that in this danger zone that where A's happen and if S run off with OP they're likely to realize later, when their honeymoon is over that they 1) made a huge mistake by leaving first S or 2) Don't believe they are capable of loving. What they just need to realize is that the spark isn't always going to be there like it was at first. It will come and go but that first love and attraction a couple has doesn't last, it's completely normal, and it's just what happens. I've heard that letting S read the book could backfire, but I mentioned to her last night when she came over that there is a part of the book I think she should read. She seemed intrigued.