H is having affair after all

[seekpeaceofmind]

Evie - my first reaction was "bad C"; my second was that maybe she was trying to help you explore & test your own motives for DB. I'm glad that she said she couldn't figure out what is going on w/ your H w/o him there - until he opens up all you can deal with is his behaviors. I have had C sessions where I left feeling down - other times I have felt understood, challenged, or validated. At this point, you can only be guided by your own instincts about the people/resources that resonate with you and help you to feel supported and see more clearly. My opinion. . .

In my heart i have hope in my head i don't.

I was reading about this in the past week (John Gray in "Mars & Venus Starting Over"), and it is normal for your "head" to be moving faster than your "heart". He calls it "emotional lag time" and says that it is normal and healthy for feelings to lag behind the mind in the healing process.

should I ask him outright if he thinks I should get myself tested and add another implication for him to think about?

I would not ask him this question. It's an understandable concern - I would simply see my doctor. Maybe later - if you are headed into healing and reconciliation then you can discuss this concern with H, but I see nothing positive to be gained from it now.

I think that the bottom line right now is that you don't have to DO anything. You are separated. You have asked H for space and time to think and heal and figure out where you are in all this. He's not rushing to D. Neither are you. No decisions are required at the moment.