She was right about one thing...you were lying. In your own home, you don't have any reason to hide your stuff. As my wife and my counselor said, "you have to give the impression of trustworthiness". Taking the stuff to the car suddenly didn't really give that impression.
If magically she said she knows that it's you she wants and wanted to move in together, what would it be like? What would it actually take to make a great relationship? It helps to make the changes and have more of a "water off a duck's back" attitude, but it isn't enough. Your wife has a long ways to go, evidently, so I wouldn't get in too big of a hurry. But, that being said, there are many things that a person needs to learn for themselves...and I suspect whatever happens with your wife will be one of them. The positives are great from the standpoint of more effective co-parenting...I guess you should count your blessings about that.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
