One thing I would say about puppy's advice is that they can thrive without secrecy too.

My H's whole Co. knew he was having an A and because he was the CEO they didn't say anything. Whilst they were uncomfortable about it they did nothing to try and prevent it. A's can survive without secrecy, and then the LBS is left feeling like a complete fool when they find out just how many people knew and did nothing about it. It hurts - let me tell you - you don't know who you can trust in the future. I am still undergoing therapy two years on.

Saffie
me 46
H 46
M in 1986
D20,D18,S16,D13
H's A 01/05 to 07/06
H recommitted to M 07/06
renewed vows 09/06
Going from strength to strength