They're Going Out of Town this Weekend

[saffie]

I exposed big time. I don't think you can ever call exposing an A controlling - infact the one thing you lose totally is control - the chips could fall anyways.

People tend to have fairly strong views on whether to expose or not. All I would say to you is that you know your S and we don't. In my sitch the A had been going on so long by the time I found out that the first flush of the addiction had weakened and I believe that timing was everything.

Only you can know what you can live with and what you are willing to put up with. OM doesn't sound much of a catch does he - involved with another woman as well - he must really rate your W. You may find that if you just bide your time and look after yourself and your kids, your W will eventually see the light and realise that you are the one for her. Don't try and convince her though - live your life for you and your kids - have fun and if she misses out on that because she is involved elsewhere then that is HER problem not yours.

Exposure worked for me and was definitely the easier option in the long run but it does not work for all. Whatever you do , do not threaten to take action you are not willing to follow through - that way you just lose face. And if you do decide to expose the A you WILL have a rough ride for a while - maybe not nearly as bad as playing the waiting game, but I assure you it will not be pleasant.

BTW, how are your kids about all this? Mine were old enough to realise what was happening and they actually played quite a large hand in it all. My second D , unbeknownst to me, contacted the OW and told her EXACTLY what she thought of her and that did rather throw the OW off a bit.