Hi - I am going though a somewhat similiar situation but not as long. My H left me, cheated on me and my D 6 months ago, I had just turned 40 and he filed for divorce immediately and is now living with a coworker as we go through divorce court. The last thing he said to me a month ago was - cant you move on? We were together 20 years and its easy for him because he moved on within the marriage and Im still in this house with my daughter - hes a single guy now living it up. I fought it for months - begged pleaded - ranted and raved. Now we dont talk at all. I dont even know who he is aymore or who he has become. I think though the more you push and go against the divorce the more they want to get away from you. I found DBing too late - so much damage had been done - we fought and I begged too much making a fool out of myself. Now he wants nothing to do with me becuase I only convinced him to keep going with the divorce and solidified in his mind all the faults he found with me - who wants to come back to a complete wreck who told him what a horrible person he was for cheating but then is depressed and crying the next when his major complaint when he left me was I was nagging, no fun and negative. I have moved on. I have let go - oh it is still hard every day I think about him and us and wonder if he will ever change his mind. Anyway - Im still going through this myself and as you can tell my story is not a success but what I can tell you is the more you tell him you dont want the divorce and fight it and run after him the more he will think he really wants the divorce. Dont call him or have contact - let go - I think that is your only chance at moving on and your only chance of having him take a second look back if he ever does. The whole thing I learned about DBing (too late for me of course) is the more you run after them the more they just want to get away but sometimes when you stop, get a life and let go - they turn around and say hey wait a minute. I know its not fair - I say that to myself every day - here he is single and living with someone - he left me when I was a stay at home mother after 6 years and I am a single working mother now doing it all on my own and he barely sees my daughter - we are in an area that I moved to for his job - I have no family here and I am starting completly over at 40. I think the same thing - who am I going to meet at 40 and where? Im going to lose my house and everything. But if its been a few years and hes not talking to you - you just have to let go best you can. Take care
