Purr: I want to extend my empathy to you. Your situation reminds me of mine, so I feel I can feel at least some of what you are feeling. I've read so much about relationships, stories about people coming back from all sorts of problems, yet my W. hasn't signaled any willingness to really work at it either. She just ran; no D yet, but that's likely where we're headed. It is so hard to hear them tell us they feel we are great, etc. and yet they don't want to be with us. They are throwing us away at precisely the wrong moment--just when we are more capable than ever of being the person they need us to be.
Of course, we need them to be the person we need as well, and it sounds like your MC sessions have revealed some things about her that you would need to see changed as well. Perhaps she's having a hard time coping with what she has learned about herself, and thus needs time to sit with that. Maybe not. We just don't know what's in their hearts unless they tell us, and it sounds like you have a confused, hurt spouse who thinks all her problems will be solved if she just ends it.
I suspect there will come a day when she realizes that the grass is greener where you water it, but that day may come too late for your M. In the meantime, remember that time is your friend. The longer you go in limboland, the longer you have at least some (but you don't know how much) chance of avoiding a D. So, as hard as this is remember that it's not over until the D. Try not to assume you know what is in her head; she sounds confused, so what may be true at one moment may not be true in a day, week, etc. All that speculating will just drive yourself nuts.
Tia is right--work on yourself, figure out what you need to learn about yourself/life, and GAL. Take care.
