CAGZ new YEAR - (meredith your 5 years motivated)

[cagzmom]

What befuddles me is when we let go...they do not??

My son just said it this weekend. We were talking about his dad-where he is today and what has happened. We BOTH said it. H knows I love him - he knows me - and we haven't let go of him - he knows...and it has not been near long enough for him to realize what he has lost, because he hasn't "lost" anything yet. Once he does, he will be very very very sad....and that is what seems to happen.

Its like they WAKE up and say "WTF" how did I get here? Where did the last X years go? Where is my family? My best friend? AND THEN ---- they see it. BUT IT has to be gone....

I watched it with my FIL. He walked out (just like my H) at Christmas time 1984.....we got married in June of 87 -- he was creeping back....my MIL had moved on, finished her masters, was moving to another city - had really really grown. EVERYONE had grown...and there was this shell of a man who "Wanted back in".

They dated for about 3 years after that. (they had not divorced) and then it just ended. MIL says she realized that FIL was always goign to be kinda depressed etc and she had moved on. FIL? He still loves her - would take her back ---- told me so (on the his wedding day a few years ago!!!)

Sad what they loose...MIL?? She is awesome! Married to a great man who lost his wife in a FREAK drunk driving accident..a man of character etc. FIL?? Oh he is so sweet--and has been filled with guilt ever since I met him. I do love him DEARLY....but the reprocussions of what he did break my heart.