I am so sorry. It sounds like you are doing your best you can. I think that's all you can do, and to try and be patient. I understand it's maddening and painful, but getting her angry will only make her work harder at trying to make sure you get nothing. Truly, your best bet to "catch a fly" is to use honey. I think you know what I'm saying. Unfortunately, your wife may be angry or mad enough to hold onto her agenda. The best you can do is line up your "legal" stuff, try to stay nice, positive, a good role model (try to avoid anger or anything she can use against you) and hope for the best.
Regardless of the outcome make sure you are doing things for yourself. Healthy things like going to the gym, connecting with friends or making new ones. I have a friend in the O.C. and she joined some Divorce Care group out there. You might want to look into something like that for some positive support and people to talk with.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
