Well, I can tell you that Meredith is so swamped at work that she will probably have to work on Easter (!) so that has prevented her from visiting the board. She won't open it because she would be tempted to write and she is simply too busy.
As for me, I am watching you grow, and I see you and TP supporting each other and I guess I don't have a lot to add. You are doing so well. I know it is hard, but I can see that you will eventually be on this side telling a newbie that there is happiness in life again.
I have a hard time posting because my own sitch is so weird. My H and I are closer than ever. I don't think I have felt this good about us in years upon years. That makes it harder for me to write about letting go, oddly enough. It is true that I only got to this place with him because I let go, but I find that I fear bringing up my own situation in case I would be giving someone false hope that if they let go they can get their H back! The fake letting go doesn't work. I know, I did that accelerated version of trying to get my H back! He saw right through it.
I was so scared to let go because part of me knew that if I did I had a good chance of not only outgrowing my H, but also finally realizing that I deserved better. I know that probably sounds crazy, but I was so afraid of coming to that conclusion. I didn't want it to be over, even though I can look back and see I wasn't happy in the marriage.
The funny thing is that in letting go I found new things about both my H and I that I love even more. I am most proud of getting to the place of being able to look at him and say, "I love you enough to want you to be happy, even if that doesn't include me." That was a tough thing for me. REALLY TOUGH. Oh, and he knew it. He felt like I was holding him hostage. How much do you suppose that made him want to be around me?
Cagz, this is such a departure from who I once was. The old me would have gladly held him hostage if it meant my life didn't have to change and people didn't need to know that my H didn't love me. I am really ashamed to admit that, but it is true.
So, in yet another answer to your question, I am quiet because I have a lot to process lately. Mostly though, it is because of the fact that you are a quick study and really "getting" this.
