Morning all..Jackie..he never traveled for his job, but once a year he would go to banking school for a week and called me every night..so yes he would always call. I am not going to sit and wait for a call..but probably will be a tad bit disappointed if he doesn't. I am going to ask him if I can reach him on his cell phone if I need to.Who knows in those hills if they work. Have this whole week off to help with our Bible school in the morning, then I would like to work on some projects around the house..or just relax and read..
Good day Sue, Just popping real quick here. Haven't been around much in order to kinda clear my head some. ... too many cobwebs for my thoughts to get stuck on ... learning to just "do" without thinking some much about it all ... its been working.
Sue, if you "see him off", I would think its appropriate to nonchalantly mention to please let you know he arrived safe so you wouldn't have to needlessly worry if he is alright.
Hi KAW..long time..no hear from!!! It does work to not think so hard and just live each day as fullfilling as we can for ourselves..
H called about some stuff he needed for trip, said I was on the phone chain and that when the group got to their destination,tehy call one person back here and relay on to other family..so at first I thought'You could not take the time to call me..then I stopped and thought, he didn't have to include me on the list..I did ask him if his cell would work and he said it might not in a remote place..but the camp site has a phone and he would get me the number, or he said that I could leave a message on his phone and when he got to a good spot he would call!! Some positive responses. I won't call him unless it is an emergency, will see if maybe he will just call to say hi..if not that's ok too...
Hello..all...just some updates..things are looking ok. H and I refinanced our house Friday...I know that means nothing as far as the m...he might be trying to get payments as low as possible knowing I can't afford it myself...He did have to write a check and took out his checkbook for that..I strained to see if he had changed address to his apartment..I don't htink he has, still our home address..good sign???checks don't cost him anything, so it is not for that reason. I told him goodbye for his Tn. trip with church, said maybe call if he wants to. Later he stopped by and sat on deck with me..gave me itinery and phone numbers of camp sight..as he was leaving to his car, I debated if I should give him a hug..I did..I ran to him and said" would you like a hug"..then "I would like a hug"..he smiled and gave me a VERY nice one..and then he said laughing"behave yourself..oh wait, I'm the one leaving" He also called me later and told me he left the explorer in the church lot, if I want to use it(he knows I always loved driving it).
So I have much to be thankful for...he would not have to do all these things if he really felt in his heart that there is no hope for us, and I sure don't want him back out of duty or force. If someone would have asked me a year ago, I might have said I would want him back no matter what..boy I have made progress... thanks to everyone here and for realizing on my own what I want and need in life.
I know how frustrated you must be but believe me you are in such a good place. I think when Novemebr comes around H will be coming home. Just be patient and continue to ask God's blessings.
I have stopped asking God to bring H back to me. I am asking him to do His will and give me the strength to accept it. I am also praying God will help H find happiness and peace. I do say I hope it's with me but if not so be it. He's a good man , just confused right now. hopefully God will help all of our WAS.
Thinking of you and thanking you for your concern.
Thanks Jackie..Dotto..it is so easy to get excited about the good stuff..but then the old mind starts wondering..that must be another phase..being able to get rid of those thoughts before they take over.
Was starting some scrapbooking..looking through pictures..tears were flowing when I see just how wonderful of a father he was/is...and the wedding pictures..I sat there asking him out loud what went wrong and will it ever be ok again..I just packed those up, as I am not going to start there.
The church group made it on their trip ok..he did not call, but then I am not expecting he will and if he does it will be a pleasent surprise...
ok..I was hoping he would call..but not waiting around..I regress and tell myself that it is a clear sign that he is not really working on us..the feelings are not there for me. When do you suppose I am going to see that? I don't want to give up the hope... but am I kidding myself..
I can say that I am not totaly living and waiting for him to wake up..I feel like I have made so many improvements to move forward.........I don't know
Our expectations, especially the "wouldn't it be nice" kind, really can put us in a bind. So hard not to have them, but entertaining them seems to alway put a damper on us. Don't let it block out the recent times, where he does seem to be warming up when he is with you.
Try to be understanding that he is focusing all his energy now on this trip with the kids. Of all the possible choices on how to spend his time, this is a noble choice. I'm sure he will be full of stories to tell you when he gets back.
... too many cobwebs for my thoughts to get stuck on ... learning to just "do" without thinking some much about it all ... its been working. 
So hard not to have them, but entertaining them seems to alway put a damper on us. 
Don't let it block out the recent times, where he does seem to be warming up when he is with you.