Just thought I'd chime in and give you my support. I know how you feel. It sucks and there isn't anything you can do about it, so why direct your energy in that useless direction?
You are only responsible for yourself and the direction you take in your own life. Focus on that. Recognize that being with a spouse who would walk away emotionally or literally isn't the way to handle long-term relationships. Sure, you made mistakes and needed to really understand the outcomes - did she help you understand those outcomes? Was she there for you? If she's like my W, probably not.
By focusing on yourself, you regain your own self-respect and re-discover that your needs are valid too. You deserve to be in a healthy relationship. Maybe by reclaiming yourself, she'll recognize what she's throwing away and want to recommit, but she has to come to that decision on her own and she has to earn the chance from you. You deserve more than to pick up scraps.
I know how hard it is. I'm in the same position and I keep thinking - if I just wait she'll come to her senses. But it isn't about waiting. It's about taking control of your life and letting go of those things you don't have control over. Let it go. Stop concentrating on her and concentrate on yourself. Make yourself happy rather than trying to rely on her to do so. If you get D, well, so you'll get D. A lot of people have done just that - even gone through brutal Ds, and they've all been okay. You'll be okay regardless of the outcome, so you have to make sure that the restless who emerges on the other side is the restless that you want to be.
