She has her best-friend in you and her OM for her physical needs, so she really doesn't have to over-think trying to make any decisions or changes in her life. She in a sense, has it all.
She says R with OM is an EA. She says "He's just a good friend, but I sort of have a crush on him". I am assuming it's more than that but that's all she will tell me. A while back I asked if it was PA and she just stayed quiet. I guess what I'm getting at is that I really do think she is having this EA because she feels more comfortable talking with him about things. She says he makes her laugh (funny... I used to before she got used my humor). This OM is a radio DJ so he's a smooth talker and I'll have a hard time competing with that. So where does that leave me? The emotional and physical needs aren't being met by me, so why is she still holding on to me? I think it might be for all the wrong reasons...
We're in an interesting situation as a couple... We're both extremely successful for our age, money has been a little tight since we bought our house but we live in a nice house. OM is broke all the time and has money problems, or so I've heard. So our lifestyle might be one thing she doesn't want to let go of. This next one may sound shallow, and it would be shallow of her if this is a reason for staying. I am an attractive guy, I don't know what else to say. OM is overweight, bald, and as W's mother put it 'he looks like a child molestor'. Everyone who knows what's going on and knows who this OM is is SHOCKED that this is the guy she's having A with. I am a 'nice guy' I do things for people even when I shouldn't (such as some people have suggested I'm doing with W by being her friend) so she knows she can count on me to be there for her regardless. Those needs I am meeting for her but they're not the big ones.
I'm not the one she confides in or gets intimate with and that is something I'm trying to change, but I think it's too soon to start doing anything drastic to get there, such as 'go dark' or even have a conversation with her about working things out for that matter.
I'm confused... Wish I had a crystal ball to see if all this hurt I'm putting myself through will payoff in the end.
Wish I had a crystal ball to see if all this hurt I'm putting myself through will payoff in the end.