I agree that this weekend is not the time to tell your S. Before you do tell him you and H need to sit down decide what you will tell S. H and I went to talk to my T before hand about how to handle it. That didn't go really great because H can't stand her. We had it all planned out but I ended up doing most of the talking. Given you H's state, I would assume your sitch will be similar.
As for the family stuff...that goes in that mixed message mess. My H told me more than once that he doesn't like doing things as a family because it makes me think everything is ok. Yet once in awhile he will invite me to dinner or a movie w/ them. Don't get it.
Woog I have to say is smart about the look but don't touch. I need to cut out the touching because it only clouds my judgement.
