I think W wants us both... HELP!

[fooled again]

Dazed & Confused,

I have been at this a long time and I have to agree w/ Puppy, Grumpy & GoingForward. I did not set any boundaries for a very long time and the A went on and on while my H continued to cake eat. Now I believe he was & still is in MLC, but that being said, I sacrificed my own sense of dignity to save my M. A year later I was still doing the same thing. I wish I had the strength do do what Puppy did at the beginning, and at some point throughout my ordeal.

My H is still "out there" and I honestly don't know when he'll come home. I don't even know for sure whether OW is gone from his life & mind. But now I'm seeing that by not setting boundaries, I have enabled him. Some S's may need that push to get them to give their own heads a shake and wake up. Others need to burn themselves and their A's out b/f they are able to see what they are throwing away.

The question is what do you feel you deserve and are willing to put up with. Step back from the raw emotions you feel, the fear, the insecurity, the loss, and think with your head. You already know the right answer for you - I did all along but was too afraid, maybe wasn't strong enough to stand behind my convictions. When you are ready to lay it all out in black & white to your W, that is the time to do it. Until then, use DBing to make yourself stronger, take care of yourself & learn to love yourself again, not to lure your W back to you.

I wish you the best.

FA