Broken Tree WAW- MLC

[houndfan]

So, I have the same issue. I often bark before I think, pre seperation, during the seperation, and even sometimes now I speak without thought which results in thoughtless speach. Make sense?

I understand what you are hearing from those around you, I too was told the same. She was acting like a child, deflecting to me etc etc. The reality makes no difference because HER reality is what drives the bus. I will gladly charge you $100/hour to tell you what you already know. What are you doing about it is the key, what type of tools are you being armed with to navigate your sitch is the C giving you. I would suggest that if you are not getting progressive help then you are wasting your money and possibly your marriage. I am by no means suggesting that I am a clinician, but at the same time I can tell you that any joker can hang a shingle and tell you what you have shared...

She will do everything she can to hurt you and spark a response from you! She will do everything to force you to make the move, she does not want a Divorce because if she did it would be done. Don't care what anyone else says about that - if my W really wanted to end our relationship she would have. You see it everyday with people when they are just done.

You need to really focus on techniques that change the balance of power - ever so slightly! This is not to say that you need to take control of the sitch it just means that you slowly can reclaim your marriage little by little. Me thinks that she would see more clearly if you let her!

Last thought - OF COURSE YOU ARE THE LIGHTENING ROD FOR HER ANGER. What good husband isn't? I see my parents who have had a wonderful marriage for 30 years take out the stress of their life on each other. The difference is the way and methods in which it is done. Your goal for today: remove the things in her life that cause anxiety. Forget about all the other stuff, help eliminate the anxiety that may cause the trigger of the MD. She may just respond differently!