Pg 4!!!a first for me...nothing much going on..at my sad times I think is this what I have to look forward to..nothing really happening..one way or another..then I tell myself that there are pluses..there are baby steps forward..certainly not backwards. Each time h calls me, or makes a point to come to me is a step. I took the plunge and called him tonight to see if he wanted to go eat with just me..no kids..he seemd to hesitate..maybe I was imagining it..but he said yes..I waited about a half hour(I tend to get impatient) thought he was regretting saying yes, expected a phone call backing out..but he came..we ended going to where dd works and she took a break and sat with us..so we were not alone. I don't think I will ask him again..I need to have him make a move, I can't always be the one asking. On the way there I told him I had a dream about him..he said "What was I doing"..I said "f****** me"! He just laughed..I said "you asked me" he said"you brought it up first". I feel so lonely sometimes..I am lucky in that my kids still live here, but are gone alot..if I had totaly been alone I would have gone crazy...maybe..that is osmething I have to keep working on..entertaining myself with me things.
