Thanks for the reply lwb. Sorry you going through all of this as well. Just wish that one day my phone would ring or doorbell and it would be h saying he wants to come back and he made a big mistake. Reality is setting in and financially life is getting harder. I had to cancel a Dr's appointment for our d because I did not have the money and he would not help out.
Everyone keeps on telling me to get the D to protect myself financially but then it is really over (not that it isn't now - he treats me worse than a stranger, like their was never anyhting between us). I have this awful feeling that ow may be pregnant, don't know why i think this but all the other feelings have been right! can i ask him if she is?
Although he is far removed he still thinks I belong to him in a sense. I had my ear pierced and he seemed a bit fascinated by this, all of a sudden he runs his finger along my ear, I am not allowed to touch him but he can do that??? earlier on in the visit i was sitting next to him and i said that something had freaked me out and he stroked my head. Bizarre behaviour.
He is so removed from our life that he could not remember d's date of birth. This is all so strange. I am trying so hard but my biggest question really is if he is so removed by going dark and dbing is that not just giving him the space to get even closer to ow because then i really don't exist OR do I just have to go with the faith that something inside him will begin to miss me? He told me he has not shed a tear and does not miss me at all.
This all feels like a nightmare. Part of me is angry that he has someone and I am alone and should he never come back i have to go out there and start all over again.
